| 31. | Mental health jokes  |
| Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.Dont answer!... more
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| 32. | Mental health jokes |
| Fred: "Why are you so upset?" Harry: "My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning." Fred: "So what?" Harry: "... more
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| 33. | Mental health jokes |
| How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?The patients get better and l... more
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| 34. | Mental health jokes |
| How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Just one. To threaten suicide if you dont change it for him/... more
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| 35. | Mental health jokes |
| How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?None, hes still clinging to the old lightbulb.... more
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| 36. | Mental health jokes |
| How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?"You want me to change the lightbulb? I could burn my hand!... more
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| 37. | Mental health jokes |
| How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one fo... more
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| 38. | Mental health jokes |
| How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Oops.I cant believe I broke the last one. I guess yo... more
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| 39. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"... more
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| 40. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "Why does the light bulb necessarily have to change?"... more
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| 41. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he must consult the DSM-IV.... more
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| 42. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?"How many do you think it takes?"... more
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| 43. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits.... more
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| 44. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.... more
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| 45. | Mental health jokes |
| How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?None. The light bulb will change itself when its ready.... more
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| 46. | Mental health jokes |
| In a psychiatrists waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"The se... more
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| 47. | Mental health jokes |
| Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had... more
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| 48. | Mental health jokes |
| Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserv... more
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| 49. | Mental health jokes |
| My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two ba... more
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| 50. | Mental health jokes |
| One behaviorist to another after lovemaking: "Darling, that was wonderful for you. How was it for me?"... more
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| 51. | Mental health jokes |
| One out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Check three friends. If theyre OK, then its... more
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| 52. | Mental health jokes |
| Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people dont give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?... more
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| 53. | Mental health jokes |
| Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks Im crazy because I like sausages. Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too.Patient: G... more
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| 54. | Mental health jokes |
| Patient: Doctor, you must help me. Im under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.Doctor: Tell me ab... more
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| 55. | Mental health jokes |
| Patient: Im really depressed. Therapist: I see. Yes. You are depressed. Patient: Nothing is going well. Therapist: Nothi... more
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| 56. | Mental health jokes |
| Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate?Psychiatrist: Youve got multiple personalities.... more
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| 57. | Mental health jokes |
| Psychiatrist to his nurse: "Just say were very busy. Dont keep saying Its a madhouse."... more
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| 58. | Mental health jokes |
| Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: "Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in th... more
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| 59. | Mental health jokes |
| Psychiatrist: Well, whats your problem? Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes.Psychiatrist: Theres nothing wrong... more
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| 60. | Mental health jokes |
| The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters,"... more
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