| 31. | Dead and dying jokes  |
| Q: What is the definition of Death?A: When you stop paying taxes suddenly.... more
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| 32. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Answer: "Leave it to Beaver."... more
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| 33. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gatheredaround him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled... more
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| 34. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?Girl: One - the dead one!... more
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| 35. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?Pupil: Dead ?, I didnt even know he was sick !... more
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| 36. | Dead and dying jokes |
| The man who was about to die said to the Sheriff, "Say, do I really have to die swinging from a tree?" "Course not," rep... more
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| 37. | Dead and dying jokes |
| There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really... more
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| 38. | Dead and dying jokes |
| This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is ne... more
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| 39. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!... more
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| 40. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Vampire 1: "I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died." Vampire 2: "How awful!" Vampire 1: "Yes. Fortun... more
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| 41. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Waiter, theres a fly in my soup !Yes, its the rotting meat that attracts them !... more
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| 42. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Waiter, waiter! Theres a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Whos going to look after his family?... more
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| 43. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What are you doing? Im trying to call Washington! Oh, havent you heard? Hes dead!... more
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| 44. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What did the little kid do with the dead battery?He buried it.... more
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| 45. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years? Pete.... more
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| 46. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What do you find in a zombies veins? Dead blood corpuscles.... more
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| 47. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies? A dead cat.... more
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| 48. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What is posthumous work ?Something written by someone after they are dead !... more
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| 49. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What is the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes and the other decomposes.... more
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| 50. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What is the last thing you eat before you die?You bite the dust.... more
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| 51. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits.... more
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| 52. | Dead and dying jokes |
| What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells? A dead centipede.... more
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| 53. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Whats a zombies favorite pop song? Dead sails in the sunset.... more
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| 54. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Whats the difference between a very old, shaggy Yeti and a dead bee? Ones a seedy beast and the others a deceased bee.... more
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| 55. | Dead and dying jokes |
| When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave ?Rust in peace !... more
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| 56. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Where do ghosts go for their holidays? The Dead Sea.... more
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| 57. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?Because he didnt want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !... more
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| 58. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case.... more
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| 59. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Why do cemeteries have fences around them?Because people are dying to get in.... more
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| 60. | Dead and dying jokes |
| Why do you want to be buried at sea? Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.... more
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